One Step At a Time

There is nothing more wonderful than knowing who you are. Nothing like realizing all your unaswered questions and needs finally have reason and rhyme.

You have bided your time, explored all of your options, thought and rethought who would be right for you. Who would be the perfect other half to you. As many are wont to do, you choose unwisely maybe the first time, the second time, maybe several times before you realize there is much more to this than saying "Yes Sir" or "Kneel down".

This takes work! This takes as much work as any relationship and often times takes more.
I think many times, D/s becomes for lack of a better word, fairytaled. Thinking that if you find that 'perfect O/one', all you do is simply be. I think we often times because of such incredible want, for a while push away the realities of life to drift in this new union, this overwhelming bliss of soul.

But no matter how much of a 'inborn' submissive you may be, or how very Dominant your personality is, there are always tims when you just don't want to simply say "Yes Sir" or when you just don't want the responsibility of being the one in charge. We all have bad days. Factor in family situations, health, finances, and simple human nature and the fairytale ends quickly.

It seems to me that often times V/t websites portray to those just finding their way how utterly perfect life is one you find "The O/one". - I am not saying this is true of all sites, just enough that i wonder what those just seeking relationships assume to be true. Going over my own site, i see where there is a lot of the good, and so lately, am also trying to include the struggle.

Nothing is perfect. It is the work and the effort and the tears that bind a couple together, the real test of whether or not a couple should be together at all. How well you handle the trials of day to day as well as the trials that are added within the context of maintaining a D/s relationship beyond the online chatroom and those only active on the weekned as a way of 'fun' or 'escape' from everyday life.

The truth is - there are many tears, there are many tests of faith and trust and belief. From within and outside the relationship. There are lots of times it will feel so much easier to 'get out'. There are a lot of times that you question yourself and your decisions, your needs, your abilities to handle such a deep and vulnerable relationship with another person.

The truth is it's not the fairytale we all wish it could be. It is real. It is hard. It is soul baring and quite capable of delivering you with the greatest hurts. But with care, with communication, with effort, it certainly can be everything you ever dreamed you could experience with a Dominant or submissive, it can bare to the surface depths of yourself you never realized existed.

Be patient, be willing to talk, be willing to take a step back when needed, be willing to put all of your heart and soul on the table. Be able to admit that hurt will come, just face it head on and stay honest. All that matters is that you 'both' want it to work and you both are willing to 'work' at making it everything you've longed and searched for. Everything else 'can' be dealt with. One step at a time.